Sonno Joi
by riverrae
Summary: Suzu's Sensei is gone from this Earth and theres no one left to stop Suzu from throwing away his own life, except for one.. Detained in a Western prison in his own land, Suzu must grapple with his own mind in a psychological battle to remember why
1. White

Disclaimer: The brilliance of _Shinsengumi Imon PeaceMaker_ and _PeaceMaker Kurogane_ are not mine… and neither is Suzu… regretfully…

Three months after the ambush at the _Ikedaya,_ or the Ikeda Inn Incident. The Choshu are scattered and the Shinsengumi have been recognised for their efforts in saving the capital.

White

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

…"_Sonno joi…"_

…

_ ; _

Cold white walls with but one doorway; also white. No tatami; only cold, hard grey stone of a strange gritty texture- _'concrete'_ barbarians called it- so cold and flat that it hurt the boy's bare feet and made his skin crawl. Initially the alien flooring had been pleasantly cool but now, hours later, the boy's feet were numb and sore.

The room housed no décor other than a heavy, wooden desk and two wooden chairs on either side.

He had been directed towards the nearest chair and told, in fractured Japanese, to wait. The heavy door had shut with a resounding _bang_, which seemed to make the pale surroundings all the more daunting. The boy immediately sat himself on the opposite chair so as to have a clear view of the door. The White Room they called it. So blindingly white. His nerves were shot. No life to the room. The youth looked up to the ceiling hoping for any other shade but- white. So bright it hurt his eyes. He closed them against the bright shade, the colour of death; darkness, peace…

This was not Japanese, this was not civilised; it was alien. It did not belong in Japan.

The heavy door slowly swung open with a _creak_. He opened his eyes slightly. In stepped the palest man the boy had ever seen. Taller than any Japanese, hair the colour of horse hay, eyes of palest blue and skin that was … white. Again, that shade, representative of death in Japanese lore. What were the gods trying to tell him? If there were such things…

The pale man came into the room and closed the door. Another _bang_ resounded around the room. The man eyed the advisory yellow chalk line on the floor squaring off roughly 2m2 around the desk as a safety precaution. He smiled to himself and stepped over the line.

The silver-haired boy heard the man step close. _Daring…_

The pale man opened his notebook and looked at the sketchy report that had been written up within an hour of the youth's arrest.

_Murder of the first degree:_

_Two youths, one male the other female_

_Both 16, approximately the same age as the suspect_

_A maid had seen the suspect enter the room at Shimabara in which the two victims had been _

_None saw him leave _

_The next morning the two bodies had been found_

_Female had been decapitated, the male **run through the heart**_

_The boy had been arrested later that day, found sleeping in an **abandoned house** _

_His sword had been coated in blood_

That was all the evidence needed by the British soldiers, **hired** by the local Christian _daimyo_

_Two men were killed in the struggle, one fatally wounded in bringing the boy down_

_He was only stopped after a soldier shot his right shoulder, causing the boy to pass out from pain_

And now here he was, within the temporary holding cell of the British legation, Yokohama, 16 years old and already 5 definite killings in two days; the wounded soldier had died from internal bleeding. But why? It was his job to find out.

"Kitamura Suzu…?"

The crimson eyes slowly met the pale blue ones.

"You speak like a civilised samurai?"

The boy's voice was dull and without emotion.

"My Japanese is weak but yes I can speak the language a little," the pale man laughed, trying to lighten the boy's mood.

Suzu did not alter his stare.

"My name is William Willis, or Willis William in Japanese fashion"

Suzu showed no interest as he shifted his gaze a fraction to stare past the European, giving his mind time to grasp the difficult syllables.

Willis walked casually to the vacant chair, believing the boy to be harmless now that he understood William could now speak his language. "Most Japanese just call me _'Wairisu'_ for easier pronunciation," Willis sat down and grinned.

_You're bold, Wairisu, but stupid._ Suzu glanced at the meagre distance separating himself from Willis. And the table concealed his body movement. _So stupid._ Suzu smiled.

Willis widened his grin, certain that the boy's gesture indicated mutual respect.

"So, Suzu, shall we begin? Where were you two days ago when-"

"It's not polite in the Land of the Gods to use a person's first name unless given specific permission from said person," Suzu smiled, inwardly laughing at the stupid barbarian.

"I'd rather use your given name, Suzu, makes it a little less formal, don't' you-?"

"My name is Kitamura," the crimson eyes flashed. "You're in _my_ land."

"Actually, _Suzu_, we're on _British_ soil, within the _British_ legation and under _British_ law so we will follow _British_ custom, clear?" There was no response other than an icy glare. "Jolly good," Willis beamed.

An uncomfortable silence.

"Then let's start again. Where were you when Shimabara_ no_ Osaya and Ichimu-"

"Hey Wairisu …" Suzu sang. "Why have they drawn a yellow box around the table?"

"Oh, well, that's ah," Willis looked at the yellow chalking. "To let people know-"

"-not to get too close?" Suzu shouted as he snapped a kick to Willis's shin.

The tall European did not have time to cry out as the ball of the boy's foot connected with his shin, followed by a distinct _snap_ping sound. Suzu wrenched his knee up past his waist and launched it forward against the adjacent side of the table. The plane of the table connecting with Willis' face, crushing his nose prevented any scream the tall man could have uttered in a few seconds.

"_Sonno joi, Wairisu_,"

Suzu crouched and raised the table partly so as to see the effect of his training. Blood oozed out of a crushed nose, the barbarian breathing through his mouth.

Suzu squinted at the alien creature. Until now he had never really come into close contact with _gai-jin_. They had always been an invisible enemy, but now Suzu could put a face to the name. Filthy blonde hair that hurt the eyes more than his own silver hair ever did. It was said that barbarians never bathed. Disgusting. This one was way past overdue.

Yet, somehow, this golden hair fascinated him; would he have a son with golden hair if he had a barbarian girl?- Suzu fought back any thoughts that would have brought him closer to the enemy. Wairisu's blue eyes had interested Suzu. He slowly prised open one eyelid with both hands. He stared at is own reflection. The silver-haired boy found himself immersed in those eyes.

They were unlike anything Suzu had ever seen.

Crystal blue eyes.

He leant closer.

Eyes that came into focus.

Seizing the moment, Willis shot up his hand that was not pinned under the table and dug deep into Suzu's **shoulder wound**. The boy released Willis' eye and cried out in surprise and pain. Willis ripped off the **taped pad's** corner with his thumb and then dug it deep into the boy's flesh, rendering his right arm motionless. Suzu screamed and brought his left hand down in a knife strike for Willis' throat. Willis jerked out his other arm and gripped Suzu's wrist. Suzu flexed his captured wrist and clawed his inch-long nails into the European's grip. Willis grunted in pain. Twisting his left hand around, he gripped Suzu's shoulder with his remaining four fingers and ripped his thumb upwards as savagely as he could.

Suzu cried again, louder.

Willis released Suzu's left wrist. **He twisted his left grip on Suzu's shoulder. **

Suzu twisted, following his shoulder's motion, onto his back.

Too much pain to move.

Too many tears to see.

Suzu kicked furiously into the air, screaming, enraged, clawing at Willis' face, hair, body, anything he could find, blindly flailing in desperation to escape, to get away, get away- _I've got to get away-_

_ ; _

_I've got to get away; I've got to get away from here…_ _The Gion festival; the night we were to burn Kyoto. Only, it didn't turn out that way… _

_The decapitated head he clutched to his chest in the cold alleyway had been dead at least twelve candles… Sensei gone, abandoned by the Choshu, betrayed by his best friend… what else mattered? Seppuku? Live on as a beggar, a drifter? Become a rurouni, a wanderer? What mattered anymore…_

_**Tetsu…**_

_Tetsu, his best friend, his only other friend, had killed the only other thing in the world that had meant like family to him- apart from his brother… also dead… who else was there alive? Who was there that wouldn't run him through with a sword for being Choshu…? _

_**Tetsu…**_

_What else was there left for him in the world? _

_**Tetsu…**_

_Tetsu… that was all he had left now. The one who had destroyed all his hopes and dreams in one movement, like the executor at the chopping block… Was there really anything left for them…?_

**_Yes… _**

_Would Tetsu really leave the Shinsengumi for... me..?_

_**You have to try…**_

_Yes, I'll try… I must find him… _

_He rose from the littered alleyway, swaying like a drunk, yet not intoxicated by _Sake_; only anguish. _

_The bloody bundle he carried slipped from his grasp. It hit the ground with a _thud_. He bent to pick it up-_

_**Leave it safe; come back for it after…**_

"_I'll be right back, Sensei,"_

_Wait for me, T-_

; 

"TETSU--------!"

… and he saw white…

**Author's Notes: **

This is my very first PeaceMaker fanfic so I hope it's OK! Please review, even if it is just to criticise!!!! Any errors I've made, please tell me-I hate when a story has errors so I don't want mine to have any! I really am going to try my hardest to update this story because I really like where it's heading! My first chapters are always crap so stick around for the second chapter! By the way, the European guy is a British officer, my own OC (original character) and his name in English is William Willis. '_Wairisu'_ is the Japanese pronunciation of his name. I couldn't help it- I just had to pick a name with difficult syllables! LoL.

**_Tatami_**- traditional Japanese matting used in most Japanese homes as flooring for most rooms.

**_Daimyo_**- The overruling Lord of a Japanese domain, subject to the Shogun or Japanese militant ruler

**_Sonno Joi_**- I understand this to be a phrase or motto used by loyalists in the _Edo_ period of Japan. The loyalist attitude to Westerners, or barbarians, was negative and Westerners were seen as a threat to the Emperor and Japan.

**_Gai Jin_**- Japanese term for a foreigner, literally meaning 'outside person'

_… at least twelve **candles**-_ Japanese time was measured in length of incense sticks. i.e. one candle lasted for around two hours.

**_Seppuku_**- Japanese ritual form of suicide for those samurai who had either dishonoured themselves or their family or those who had been defeated in battle. The male form of _seppuku_ was disembowelment using a knife, while the female from was to cut one's own throat using the same kind of knife, the _waribashi_.


	2. Loneliness

**Disclaimer**: I worship Nanae Chrono for her genius that is both _Shinsengumi Imon PeaceMaker_ and _Peacemaker Kurogane_. If that work had been mine, then certainly I'd have a temple built in my magnificent honour. I can only attempt at mimicking her awesomely awesome geniusnus…;P

**WARNING: There is some very mild stereotypical references to other nations that some may find derogative. However, this was how people viewed foreigners in this era. So, no flaming the racist biatch, eh? We all okie-dokie, hunky-dory with that? Yayness; No offence to ANYONE. **

* * *

Augh. The darkness. The isolation. The-

**Loneliness**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never before had isolation been an adversary to the loner; an antagonist to his solitude. Never before had the distant wanderer feared the silence more than the notion of death. For what was death?

What was the significance of death to the unwanted, the lost, the … lonely? Death is… the end of – what? Of life? The end of a corridor that leads onto another corridor or a final room? Perhaps a room with windows through which to receive a gentle breeze. Or maybe windows through which to escape?

To escape… what?

Escape…

To escape this darkness, this silence, a silence that rings so loud in the ears –no, the _mind_- so loud that there is the urge to scream, to run, to cry, the move in all directions yet try to remain whole, to clutch your face to ensure that you still exist; to squeeze the skin below your eyes as you clutch to feel the pure burn; to feel the blood pulse, the life pulse, beneath your skin; feel the warm streams of crimson life gush past, bathe, your nails, your fingertips; to cry these streams of life, reassurance of your existence, blood tears, all the while screaming, laughing, crying, screaming, laughing, screaming, laughing at the irony of it; screaming for the joyous reassurance of it, laughing at the irony of it; screaming for the joyous reassurance of it, laughing at the …

And thus they found the boy every night, in solitary confinement, screaming like his throat was cut, yet laughing like a maniac.

The warden in whose charge the gaol had been placed was at a loss as to how he could help the boy, for clearly it was help that he needed, yet knew at the forefront of his mind that he could not allow the young rogue a chance to injure another of the Legation's officers.

William Willis had been seriously injured after his encounter with the Mad Wolf; a quickly popularised reference to Suzu. Alikened because of his silver hair and untameable outbursts, Suzu Kitamura had become an infamous topic of hushed discussion among the English minority. The French simply snorted in contempt for British security. The Americans laughed at their former Mother Country whilst the Russians couldn't care less, busy contemplating the activities of their own territory within Yokohama.

Despite wanting to help the boy, Warden Marlowe refused to allow any more embarrassment to the British Legation. So he had to make a choice…

William Willis waited once again outside the warden's office in an uncomfortably cramped waiting room. The waiting room was occasionally visited by convicts to see the warden for different reasons, therefore the authorities saw no reason to fund any conveniences imported from outside Japan, such as chairs with evenly lengthened legs, a clock that didn't stop at every half hour, European cleaners (as the mass hired or enslaved Chinese labour would often leave complementary dead vermin on desks in parody of the Western mint-on-the-hotel-pillow tradition), etc. It was no secret that the Chinese imports hated both the Westerners and the Japanese, the Japanese hated the Western barbarians and their long-time enemy the Chinese and that the Westerners' fear of the Japanese rested in their constant fright of the wild samurai and their hatred of the Chinese from their dismissal of the inferior Chinese presence.

All in all it was a very confusing love triangle thought Willis as he watched the big hand of the grandfather clock tremble to a stop at half-past eleven. As the clock stopped, so did his world. Willis was brought back to the White Room, one week, three days ago when that boy had lost control and tried to kill him. The crimson yet icy glare, the sound of his shin fracturing, echoing through his memory, the table breaking his nose, the blood gushing out, gushing back through his nostrils as he lay immobile on the floor. Then, the struggle with Suzu as he fought for his life. He remembered ripping apart the flesh under the boy's shoulder wound, where he was shot by a British officer, the only way they could catch him. Willis had never seen anyone move so quickly and cause so much pain to a man twice his size in so little an amount of time.

And that name he screamed… 'Tetsu'…

Another sketchy report on his origins stated that he was a sort of samurai-in-training and that he belongs to a group called the Choshu, which originated from the Choshu region, funnily enough. His teacher had been some big-shot Choshu supporter and was killed a year ago in some huge fight betwixt the capital's 'police' division and these Choshu lads. _Wasn't the lad killed by Suzu Kitamura part of this Shinsengoomy? Revenge would probably have been his main motive then, but why the hell wait a whole bloody year? Maybe the whole mess finally sent him mad after a year?_

Willis' wanderings were disrupted by the warden's door _creak_ing open. He looked up to see a soldier dressed in the British red and whites escorting an impoverished looking convict out of the warden's office. The little Asian man was so small and thin that he looked on the verge of collapsing. He was muttering away to himself in a lingo that Willis couldn't understand, so he assumed it Chinese. The Asian man jumped at every movement in the waiting room and could hardly keep up with the soldier's rough march.

"Come in, William!" came a voice from the room.

Willis hurriedly put down his month-old copy of the _London Times_, picked up his crutches and hobbled into the office, closing the door behind him with a loud _creak_.

_Bloody poor imports_.

Warden Marlowe was seated at his desk writing in a small notepad. The office was no bigger than the cramped waiting room, books littering every spare surface apart from the immediate workspace in front of the warden.

"Sit down, William," he said after writing his last sentence. "Would you care for some tea?"

"No thank-you Angus, I could never stand English tea," William smiled, placing his crutches against the desk.

"Well, that's a blessing for you then, William. You won't be suffering like the rest of us, what with tea being a rare luxury in the Legation's gaol! Don't bother to ration us any, do they? Just because we tend to the needs of bloody convicts doesn't mean we don't want any, by God!" Marlowe sighed and looked up at Willis. "But I didn't want to talk to you today about my trifle miseries, William. I asked you here to talk about your most recent subject."

Willis looked perplexed for a moment, before catching on. "Oh, you meant my _patient_? I don't like to refer to people as subjects, John. It sounds too callous."

"You can pretend to be a doctor for as long as you want, but the truth of it is that you need to get inside his head and find out in why the hell he killed two kids in the red light district."

"A psychologist and a doctor aren't very different, John. I know it's a new idea to treat criminals, but the theory is that we can hopefully stop potential murders by understanding _why_ people kill." Willis sighed. The whole idea seemed pointless to him as well as every other individual with half a brain, but that was why he was posted this far bloody East with a slightly larger pay each year to compensate. However, nothing compensated the dangers of the samurai of the Far East. Their superior warfare skills in hand-to-hand combat and a swordfight still struck fear into every European' heart, with or without a loaded rifle. There was just no equal to their dedication and perfected training in Willis' white man culture. Even so, he had still wanted to see the world and had needed the extra money. That had been his motive; money. Could that have been Suzu's? Not likely, but still a possibility. Willis put it to the back of his mind for later.

"William!" Marlowe snapped him out of his reverie.

"Oh, sorry! Just thinking about the new patient, Kitamura,"

"Yes, that's the one I wanted to talk to you about," Marlowe sat back and steepled his fingers under his chin, like a set of church towers. "How are you feeling? How's your leg?"

"My leg's fine, the bone was only fractured and Dr Jones was able to fix it up alright. He said I could get around now so long as I stay on my crutches and don't stress myself," Willis laughed. "That Kitamura lad really knew his stuff, eh?"

Marlowe laughed too. "So long as you don't laugh at him in front of him I don't think you're going to get out of this hellhole yet."

Willis looked up at the warden. "I was wondering, John. Why… why would the Legation give a scotch about Kitamura? Why don't thy just hang him or allow the Jappaners to publicly execute him like their law says? By God, it just seems strange that instead of sending a murderer to the gallows as custom demands, our people would instead send me to figure out _why_. He's already an enemy to the king they've got here, why don't they get rid of him? Killing two other kids his age seems like an adequate enough reason to me."

"Well, William, it would appear that there were some pretty high up connections on both sides of the murder. Some commander of this Shinseng-goomy police they have here is really fired up about the boy's death. Apparently Ichimura was his trainee or something and he is quite pissed about this Choshu clansman killing Ichimura and his girlfriend. So he'd pulled all strings to make sure that Kitamura was caught and questioned about the killing. He really wants to know why Kitamura killed them. Also, they say that the Choshu have supported this Shinseng-goomy captain and want him alive, too."

"Damn, lad's got more after him than rats to haggis,"

"And I'm slightly concerned about his mental health, too. I'm sure you must have picked up on it, William."

"He clearly has problems," Willis confirmed.

"That's why I've decided to withdraw him from solitary confinement and place him in a cell with the other convicts. Hopefully-"

"What?!"

"_Hopefully_, he'll be able to cope much better with his situation among others with similar circumstances."

William couldn't believe it. "But, to place him with _them_, John! There's a reason why you place the youths in separate holds, isn't there? To throw him with the _others_, that's just cruel! You know better than anyone how our lot hate the Asians and how that love's returned! He'll be dead within a week, by God!"

"Oh, I don't think it'll come to _that_, William! Anyway, you should know better than anyone _yourself_ that the boy is more than competent at protecting himself. Remember what he did to you? A week and a half later and you are still hobbling, by God!"

Willis reflected again back to a week ago. Suzu's skills from Choshu were frightening. "No wonder the Choshu want the lad alive, sah. Probably cause of his damn frightening cleverness and violence! … What's so funny, John?"

The warden was laughing. "You've still got a hint of the Scottish accent, 'sah'! I've always thought we should have exchanged Christian names! 'Angus' doesn't sound very English, does it?" Marlowe wiped a tear from his eye. "Now, William Marlowe and Angus Willis do sound better, don't they?"

"I cannae dispute that with ye now, sah!" Willis laughed, reverting back to his Scottish accent.

"Now, you've no other objections? Good. Kitamura will be relocated tomorrow to the Crowded House." Marlowe closed his notepad to signify the end of the matter.

Willis struggled back onto his walking crutches. He turned at the door back to Marlowe, his closest friend in these Far islands.

"You know, John. The Irish may nae be as great as the Scots, but I tell ye they are spectacular at three things!"

"And what's that, Will?"

"Their Guinness, their limericks and their prayers."

Marlowe looked a little baffled.

"I'll be praying one line of that Irish prayer for the lad, John."

'May God keep him safe in the palm of His hand'

* * *

**A/N:** OK, some background information and not very much interesting apart from Suzu chucking the occasional fit every night… I thought this information was important for the story so that we knew _why_ Willis was trying to help Suzu! Please review. I've had 29 hits one Ch1 and no review LoL. Now for some translation …

**Jappaners-** not a derogative of mine, but a common phrase used in those days to refer to Japanese people. The word 'Japanese' wasn't used I suppose because 'Jappaner' came closer to the word 'Japan'.

**Shinseng-goomy-** Due to differing syllables and Marlowe's background with Chinese dialects, he often mispronounces Japanese words. For example, a lot of people form my grandparents' generation call a kimono a 'kimino'. It happens! This is supposed to be Shinsengumi from the show and manga.

**Guinness- **a beer the Irish are famous for! Yes, another stereotype in the story… :x


	3. Prayer

Disclaimer: Nanae Chrono is brilliant. That's all. Oh and I don't own _Shinsengumi Imon PeaceMaker_ nor_ PeaceMaker Kurogane_. That is all. La.

Crowded House

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to Hell. That's what the place practically said. It stuck out like a rat's proverbial arse. Yes, eight metres of brick, mortar and barbed wire was how you could describe Britain's most Eastern prison. A huge land plot that had once been an interrogation hold in Japan's old days. The underground labyrinthine dungeons and cells were still intact and had recently been renovated to accommodate more modern torturous facilities; however the above-ground structure had been torn down and replaced with a more intimidating European fortress look. Three stories tall, myriad of sublevels beneath; this was what they called the Crowded House.

The boy and escort passed through the first wall and papers were checked. The Japanese sentry guard glanced at the boy and grunted their pass. Past the second wall and again papers were checked and this time translated for the European sentry. A guard pushed him on. It seemed they were now in the centre of the compound, having reached the main building. He took in the surroundings.

The courtyard they stood in was large enough to accommodate at the most 250 people standing together. Before them stood a double-doorway, with what Suzu presumed was a sign written in English _'Crowded House'_. The doors opened and there stood a guard of what would become those all-too-familiar European features in the days ahead. The boy alone exchanged company. It seemed that the prisoners were being guarded by the English, and the English guarded by the Japanese. Interesting.

Suzu was led down hallways upon hallways, more than once double-backing and going in circles. The set route was intended to confuse and put off would-be escapees, yet Suzu's mind was like an articulate map. He felt like kicking whoever was leading them up the arse for making him walk past that double-mosaic of yellow pebbles at least 5 times.

They stopped abruptly. One guard opened the door and grinned at the silver-haired boy in a not-so-nice way. He couldn't understand the man's garble but the message was pretty clear. He was challenging him. Suzu glared at the fat officer. His teeth were a nasty hue of yellow and proceeding to a light shade of green, there was a serious issue with nasal hair gone wrong and rings of purple, grey, ash and varying shades of black around his eyes, possibly from lack of sleep, alcohol and other things just not worth vomiting over. All in all, there was no way he was going to let a fat-arsed slob like this intimidate him. Suzu pushed past the guard and descended the steps to the sublevels. There was a murmur of anticipation amongst the guards. This kid had no idea what was waiting for him.

Welcome to Hell. This time some considerate inmate person had taken the liberty of writing the characters on the wall, all in perfect Japanese. Suzu smirked and re-read the sign.

Welcome to Hell… _…now that I'm here,_ Suzu ended with that thought. It gave him a confidence that the sign warned he would need. Now it was time to face what ever god-awful mission that the fat-arsed guard behind him had planned. It probably wouldn't be nice, considering Suzu was pretty much sure that this particular guard was gay… he stood _way_ too close behind him and the boy was sure it wasn't a baton that the slob had stuck against the small of his back. A sudden urge to vomit was quickly overcome.

It would be an urge that Suzu Kitamura would get used to in the days to come.

A/N: I'm sorry, I'm not going to lie to you guys- this chapter really was a filler because I'm feeling bad about not posting since, what, Christmas…? Ah, well, school holidays coming up so I might get time to write something…


End file.
